Dear Les,
First, you should keep in mind that your divorce decree is a court order. In general, you should not disobey a court order because that could land you in hot water. If you simply stop paying spousal support (also called spousal maintenance) to your ex, or if you pay less, your spouse could try to hold you in contempt of court.
It is usually best to work with your ex and/or the court if you want to stop or reduce your spousal support payments. You may want to start by having a conversation with your ex. If you explain your situation, your ex may agree to let you stop or reduce your payments. Another option is mediation. Mediation is when a neutral third person (the mediator) talks with you and your ex and tries to help you make an agreement about changing spousal support. If either of these options results in an agreement, you should be sure to get it in writing.
If talking and mediation do not work, you may need to go back to court. You could bring a Motion to Modify Spousal Maintenance. If a judge agrees to lower or stop your payments, you will get an amended (changed) divorce decree showing the change.
In a Motion to Modify Spousal Maintenance, a judge will look for two main factors:
- A “substantial change in circumstances.” This refers to changes in the facts that existed at the time of the divorce. This may include lower income, higher expenses, or other factors that affect one person’s ability to pay or the other person’s need for support. The judge needs to find a substantial change before considering the second factor.
- Whether the support award in the decree is unreasonable and unfair. Again, this may include factors such as need and ability to pay.
The person who brings a motion to modify has the “burden of proof.” This means that if you want your support payments stopped or reduced, it would be up to you to prove that 1) there is a substantial change in circumstances since your divorce and 2) that the support award in your decree is unreasonable and unfair. Your ex may present counter-arguments and evidence to try to keep the award from changing.
Whichever you option you prefer - talking, mediation, or a motion to modify - you may want to talk to a family law attorney before you do anything. An attorney can advise you about your rights, your options, and your chances of success in changing your spousal support obligation.
An attorney may be able to represent you in a motion to modify, or you could decide to represent yourself. You can find court forms for a motion to modify online at http://www.mncourts.gov/GetForms.aspx. Look for the “Spousal Support” link.
